It has been three years since I lost my first born son and the day still hits me like a ton of bricks. I know it’s coming, but no amount of preparation can stop the tears from flowing. By now I should realize that going to work on his birthday is futile. But the thought of sitting at home all by myself crying doesn’t appeal to me either. I don’t ever want to forget about my son but I hope someday I can get through the day without so much sorrow.