Milk anyone?

My left boob is starting to leak.  Not cool.  I noticed a spot on my white sleep bra and thought WTH.  I pushed down on my boob and sure enough, out came some colostrum.  Dangit.  I didn’t check the right one as I don’t want it to think it’s time to start producing yet.  As if that has anything to do with it.  I really hope I don’t need to start wearing breast pads anytime soon but I did throw a few disposables I had left over from last time in my purse just in case.

My memories from last time are still very vivid and I hope I get to create different ones this time.  Once I was discharged from the hospital, we headed straight to Children’s which was about 45 minutes away.  We got there, checked on our son and then the nurse led me into the lactation room, gave me a brand new pumping kit and hooked me up to the machine.  I pumped about a teaspoon total.  Then she sent me downstairs to rent a pump.  When I went to rent the pump, I remember them asking me how long I would need it for.  I just looked at her and said, my son was born at 25 weeks, take a guess for me.  She gave me the look of sorrow and comped the whole thing.  After that we went home and I was told to pump every three hours, freeze the milk and bring it in daily.  This I did with diligence as it gave me something to do since I didn’t have my son to bring home with me and feed.

As it turned out, he didn’t need the milk and I didn’t have the strength to complete the paperwork to donate it.  Looking back I wish I did but I didn’t. 

The next week was rough as my breasts engorged, leaked a ton and felt so dang hot they were going to explode.  I was told to pump a little every so often to wean them down, but I said f-that and returned the pump right away.  Pumping only reminded me of what I didn’t get to do and I didn’t need anymore reminders.  I just powered through it.  My husband did one of the kindest gestures ever, he came home with cabbage.  I asked him why (I knew why but wanted to know his reasoning) and he said he heard the nurse say that cabbage can help  engorged breasts.  So he does listen after all.  I didn’t use it but I still remember the gesture.  This does make up for the fact that a week later after I  thought I was done leaking,  I remember was walking out of the grocery store with my husband, feeling a breeze and wondering why my chest felt wet.  I looked down and saw two big wet spots over my nipples.  I looked at my husband and said seriously, you didn’t think this warranted a heads up.  He looked at my chest and was like, oh I didn’t notice.  You didn’t notice.  Come on man.  I was mortified and depressed.

So boobs, please hold off doing anything else until we have a healthy baby in our arms.  I really don’t want to go through that horrific event again.  Thank you.


4 responses to “Milk anyone?

  1. *hugs* I’ve never experienced any of what you’ve gone through, but it doesn’t sound pleasant. I sincerely wish everything is much better and happier this time around! Congrats on your pregnancy.

    • Thanks. Just taking it day by day. My mom started jumping the gun again and I had to politely ask her to stop. She did but it’s still hard. I do wish I could be like everyone else and be excited and relaxed but that just wasn’t in our cards.

  2. I just read your entire blog.. I am hooked now. Praying for you and your precious little one!! We recently had our 6dt with our surrogate. going thru the light hpt phase right now and scared of a repeat chemical.. Reading your start of this pregnancy put my mind at ease that this just might work this time.. Thank you for that!

    • I’m glad my words are comforting. I have to say that everytime, I test real early because I just know my body. However, my HPT’s still don’t really get that much daker even when my beta’s are increasing. I think some people just work that way. However, this last time I had some OPK’s to use before they expired as well as some free time on my hands and used those each day “just to see” and those did darken each day. Odd science experiement I know but I didn’t want them to go to waste :-).

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