My left boob is starting to leak. Not cool. I noticed a spot on my white sleep bra and thought WTH. I pushed down on my boob and sure enough, out came some colostrum. Dangit. I didn’t check the right one as I don’t want it to think it’s time to start producing yet. As if that has anything to do with it. I really hope I don’t need to start wearing breast pads anytime soon but I did throw a few disposables I had left over from last time in my purse just in case.
My memories from last time are still very vivid and I hope I get to create different ones this time. Once I was discharged from the hospital, we headed straight to Children’s which was about 45 minutes away. We got there, checked on our son and then the nurse led me into the lactation room, gave me a brand new pumping kit and hooked me up to the machine. I pumped about a teaspoon total. Then she sent me downstairs to rent a pump. When I went to rent the pump, I remember them asking me how long I would need it for. I just looked at her and said, my son was born at 25 weeks, take a guess for me. She gave me the look of sorrow and comped the whole thing. After that we went home and I was told to pump every three hours, freeze the milk and bring it in daily. This I did with diligence as it gave me something to do since I didn’t have my son to bring home with me and feed.
As it turned out, he didn’t need the milk and I didn’t have the strength to complete the paperwork to donate it. Looking back I wish I did but I didn’t.
The next week was rough as my breasts engorged, leaked a ton and felt so dang hot they were going to explode. I was told to pump a little every so often to wean them down, but I said f-that and returned the pump right away. Pumping only reminded me of what I didn’t get to do and I didn’t need anymore reminders. I just powered through it. My husband did one of the kindest gestures ever, he came home with cabbage. I asked him why (I knew why but wanted to know his reasoning) and he said he heard the nurse say that cabbage can help engorged breasts. So he does listen after all. I didn’t use it but I still remember the gesture. This does make up for the fact that a week later after I thought I was done leaking, I remember was walking out of the grocery store with my husband, feeling a breeze and wondering why my chest felt wet. I looked down and saw two big wet spots over my nipples. I looked at my husband and said seriously, you didn’t think this warranted a heads up. He looked at my chest and was like, oh I didn’t notice. You didn’t notice. Come on man. I was mortified and depressed.
So boobs, please hold off doing anything else until we have a healthy baby in our arms. I really don’t want to go through that horrific event again. Thank you.