Not looking forward to it

Well, we are moving.  Where I don’t know yet but the house has been put up for sale.  Of course my husband knows I can’t do a thing to help and he seems to be ok with that but I just hate it.  I like things organized and clean but I can’t do any of those things.  My parents will be by in a few weeks to help get some things packed so I can at least give them some direction and know they will follow it but the rest is up to my husband.  Not fun at all!

I was able to toss a few things from the nursery into boxes and that’s when I got to thinking.  Our son never got to spend one night in his nursery.  I would walk by it and sometimes I would close the door and other times I would open it up.  I kept his ashes in there, it seemed fitting at the time, and all the materials from the hospital and NICU.  When things would get sad, I would head in there and cry.  Now that room will be gone.  On the one hand, maybe it’s a good thing.  Time for new memories.  On the other, I’m not ready to let that room go yet.  It reminds me of him, it was meant for him.  I’m sure he’ll understand but it’s still a hard move to make.

Goodbye old house.

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12 responses to “Not looking forward to it

  1. Wow. Leaving that room. Hugs! I can see where you’re headed with the “maybe it’s a good thing” part but I can see how that would be so hard. Best of luck to you! With your pregnancy. You move. And your moving on…

  2. That has got to be incredibly difficult. I’m so sorry. Wishing you the best with your pregnancy and upcoming move! Glad your parents are coming to help.

    ICLW #5

  3. I don’t think you’d ever feel ready to let the nursery go. But I know that your son will quietly give you the strength and courage to do so. And he’ll shepherd his little sibling safely into your arms. No matter where you go he’ll always be with you.

  4. I’m so sorry you’re going to have to let the nursery go before you are ready. That’s tough.
    This is a different situation, but I lived with my little brother years ago and he was killed while we were living together. I stayed in our house another year or so, but eventually, I had to move, and leaving the house where his room had been was hard. On the other hand, it was helpful in helping me move forward vs staying stuck in the grief…
    Hugs to you…

  5. IDropping by from ICLW…
    am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. That’s rough. Wishing you all the best with your current pregnancy.

  6. He will understand. His place will be in your heart.
    Hugs.

  7. Hello from ICLW! I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to have to let that nursery go, especially when you don’t feel ready to. I never got that far with my twins, because we hadn’t found a place of our own yet, and sometimes I am glad, but other times, I wish I had that with them. I with you the best in your current pregnancy. Take it easy and even though it is hard watching your hubby do the moving, I know he understands and probably wouldnt have it any other way.

    ICLW #114

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