My poop schedule is off. Now instead of setting my alarm, I just let my poop alarm wake me up. I can’t even sleep in on the weekends because my urge to poop so early in the morning kicks in. I used to be on the best system. It was predictable, smooth, regulated, daily and most definitely didn’t wake me up. Now it’s unpredictable, rough or too loose, highly unregulated and multiple times a day. Damn hormones. And to make matters worse, I have to dilly-dally around the house M-F to make sure I go before I leave on my hour to an hour and half commute. Heaven forbid I don’t go and get stuck in a horrible traffic jam. We’d end up with a horrible accident inside my car too. So now I spend my early mornings wandering around waiting for the urge. And by early I mean 5:30am. Although my poop alarm wakes me up, it doesn’t mean my poop is ready to wake up itself. It’s like when you wake up all groggy and stumble around until you finally feel like you are awake. That’s what my poop is doing to me. It loves to wake me up but then doesn’t want to leave the system until its damn well ready. Stupid poop.