Ok. On Monday I decided I wanted to bust a myth for NIAW but it took some time for me to think of a myth to bust, so I decided to go with one that is personal to me.
Myth: Once you get a positive pregnancy test, all is well and IF is over.
Fact: I have had 3 BFP’s and still no baby to show for it. Even though you may hit that milestone during your IF treatments of seeing those 2 pink lines, it honestly means nothing until the end result of holding a healthy baby in your arms is achieved. I wish for the day that I could run out and tell all my friends and family that I am pregnant while still holding my pee stick but I know that will never happen. I yearn for a time when I can say thank you to the person who acknowledges my pregnancy instead of cringing in fear or having to calm their excitement because I don’t want it. I long for the baby shower that is thrown in my honor with all my friends but alas, I don’t want to jinx myself. I want so much to be happy for my friends during their pregnancies and to get to know their babies, but I can’t bring myself to do it. The more BFP’s I get, the more losses I suffer, and the more withdrawn I become from their kid filled lives because it only reminds me of what I don’t have. I know I have the ability to change that but just getting over it is easier said than done. IF will never be over even once I am holding a baby because the chances of me conceiving on my own are slim to none. Many think that once you conceive, you can now conceive on your own and that is just plain false. IF will be with you until the day you die. All you can do is hope you don’t pass it on to your kids and to prepare them for what the future might hold during their reproductive years.