Just too good to be true?

So when my first IVF worked, I didn’t think much about it.  Statistically we had a 60% chance of succeeding and we did.  I was shocked when I saw that BFP because it seemed unreal that it really did work but after that, I just moved forward.   I’m a numbers gal when it comes to this stuff.

Fast forward to our second IVF.  I went into it thinking I would get the same results as last time, however, it failed.  At first I thought, ok, well they picked the wrong two egg’s, let’s see what the FET brings.  Now that this FET brought a BFP, for some reason I can’t help but think that this is too good to be true.  Now deep down it may have something to do with my loss but by nature I am not a negative person or a pessimist.  In fact, I think I have pretty good luck and my optimism drives my husband nuts.  But for some reason, I just can’t get it out of my head that this is not a viable pregnancy.  Statistically, I keep reminding myself that it should have worked, which it did and my numbers did double appropriately but that is not helping me this time.  I don’t know if I’ve been spending too much time on google or what.  But this 2ww to see the heartbeat is the worst 2ww yet for me.  At least during the first 2ww I can cheat and start testing about 5dpt to see what’s up, but at this point, there is nothing I can do except literally wait.  No amount of peeing on a stick is going to do anything for me. 

Maybe it’s because I have lost hope, maybe it’s because I feel like there is no way this can be true, maybe it’s because my beta was so low to start with that I feel there must be something wrong, either way, I just want this 2 weeks to hurry up.  If it’s bad then let’s move on, if not, then lets hurry up and get this 9 months over with so we can finally have our family.  I am so scattered right now that I’m hoping some sort of clarity will pop up shortly, for everyone’s sake.

Advertisements

7 responses to “Just too good to be true?

  1. First off, congratulations!!! You need to stay positive! My daughter’s first beta was a 28 and they made me have 4 tests done to make sure everything was going well. It was nerve wracking to say the least….I went through half my pregnancy with so much anxiety but she came out beautiful and healthy 2 days over due! I wish you all the best!

  2. Thinking of you. There are no words of comfort that I can offer that I think will be the source of reassurance you need, so to avoid unhelpful platitudes I will just say that I hope these two weeks go quickly for you and bring you the healthy heartbeat you are hoping for. Sending thoughts and love…

  3. Like Baby Hopes, I don’t have any magic words to make it all better. I do wish there was some way I could help make the time go faster for you. There are loads of success stories that come from low betas and I’m betting that yours will be one of them. Sending loads of luck and positivity your way. I hope you can find something that helps you stay sane over the next two weeks.

  4. Best of luck to you during this waiting period….!

  5. I wish you all the best. This whole pregnancy after infertility thing is more than nerve-wracking. It is heart-pounding, anxiety-inducing stuff. But if we haven’t all experienced lower betas turning out well, we’ve all heard a million stories to that effect, so we all have so much hope for you. Thinking of you as you wait…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s