Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike people who get pregnant or have babies but I just chose not to be around them, family or not. It’s too hard. Last July shortly after my son died my brother called to tell me that he and his wife were expecting twins. Naturally of course. OF COURSE!!!! I cried and didn’t really talk about it for a long time. Although early, they were born today and for the first time in a while I didn’t cry over the news. Now going out and seeing them is another story. Right now they are in NICU and being as though I spent 3 days in there with my son, it’s just too fresh in my mind so I won’t be visiting until they are out. I have debated for months on whether or not I will even be going out there and had mostly decided that I wouldn’t. I was really hoping that our second round of IVF would work and my excuse would be I can’t because I’m pregnant. But that is not the case and I don’t have any other excuses. So time to deliberate. I’m pretty sure my brother would be understanding but at the same time as my acupuncturist so politely said today “it’s not those little babies fault”. Yeah she’s right but it doesn’t make it any easier. Who knows. Right now I just want my Dr to tell me that my FET will not be canceled and that we can continue forward with our transfer next week. Here’s to hoping!